Lamb's Face

I read you like a book with a thin plot
I pop you like a bubble of shallow thought
two faced Janus, I liked your lamb face better
sugar sweet, I choke on you letter by letter
I read through the lines to the lie of you
I read through the lies to the eye of you
don't think for all your fog, that i can't see through
so drop your false pretenses, you play games, but I'm no sport
for all your talk (oh and how you talk) you seem to come up short
selfish intentions speak loudest of all
you play the victim and let others take the fall
standing in your hole with shovel in hand
you dug it yourself and now your stuck in quicksand
blaming the one's who once stood extending a rope
now you must find your own way to cope
you sounded the horn to Armageddon
you made the bed which you now must lay in
your words are an infection, spurting out like puss
don't smile and wave you sugar puff Judas
two faced Janus, I liked your lamb face better
sugur sweet, I choke on you, malicious-blood letter.

He loves me not

Plucked flower
wilts away
once appreciated
now organic decay
broken petals, he loves me not
I was a flower
but now i rot

Cancer Rage

Growing at an alarming rate
you multiply and mutate
inside of me this cancer rage
which is still expanding as I age
I put on this brave face
and put one foot forth to win the race
my words fall out of my mouth like hair
leaving me screaming, my soul bare
my mind is frail, my heart is weak
my eyes are blinded as my tears leak
lay me down on the table and examine me well
all the tools in the world wouldn't be able to tell
searching for an answer, a cure for this disease
name me for this condition, which brings men to their knees
this is the contingency of being, which I epitomize
Doctor Life bring me the remedy, it's time to euthanize.

Death Machine

Push me out
of this death canal
the primal scream
marks my arrival
reach for compassion
to no avail
put me into this
death machine
connect the wires
to the mother board
oh how i wish I was never born
into this conspiring uniform
i am so perfectly blended
into the system
like so much fruit in a socialist smoothie
i cannot move
my legs are not my own
and i age quickly
in this passing moment
which stretches out like taffy
into eternal apathy
I'm automated...
it seems my sense of self
was confiscated
the right wing swallowed the left wing
and all sides stand steady
we are the war machine that fights itself
and were self destruction ready.

Crocodile Smile

I gave myself away to you, like a vial of cheap perfume.
From the moment you caught my scent, I knew of my impending doom.
My heart was thumping. I was a rabbit in the grass.
You beckoned, I followed; though your tactics were crass.
I couldn't have valued myself much less.
It seemed like a fun thing to do I guess.
And so I walked into the mouth of the crocodile,
as it seemed so inviting with it's smile.
I was daring myself to feel even for a second,
those piercing teeth through my rabbit skin.
In the last moments of my consciousness,
I wanted to remember this-
relationship of predator and prey.
It was the last embrace; of flying fur and bloody spray.

Destroyed

What was I expecting
in this pyroclastic flow
but to be destroyed
still I will stand
watching the waves of red
as they flow towards me
steam and fire on the water
and I am blackened in the roar

This Mighty Wall

I see now that there is no way
to pass over this mighty wall
which stands so haughty in between
and mocks me with its thorny hedge
So I will stay on my own side
and speak to you through a tiny hole
watching as you forget that
I ever had a key to your door.

So Goes My Mind

So goes my mind
far away
like a distant lingering dream
as i drink in scenery
watching in a fog
the world rushes around me
I am a boulder in a fast flowing stream

I thought I Saw You

I thought I saw you as an angel
in my dreams with arms outstretched
not noticing the stage set behind you
or the spotlight which draped you in angelic glow
I thought I saw you as an angel
sweet music flowing from your lips
not noticing the soundtrack playing
nor that you were mouthing the words to it
I thought I saw you as an angel
I cried at your feet and took your hand
not noticing the bodies all around us
with faded smiles and outstretched arms
I thought I knew you, as my angel
until you raised your hidden scythe
not noticing the bloodstained blade
nor your smiling eyes reflected in it

A Pat on the Back

Embrace with limp arms
and a pat on the back
eyes hold each other in a cold gaze
speaking our wordless goodbye's
as yesterday's fall back further behind
in a line of tear blurred memories
simple discharge of so large an investment
after breaking free from this quagmire and realizing
that which we once found endearing
we were now all but enduring.

Someplace Kind

Someplace kind
I long to be
where people give
their love for free
to all who ask
and even, to me
where acts of compassion
come naturally
a land where even the
blind can see
and man can live co-consciously
while in a perfect balance
of duality
Someplace kind
I long to be

Phantom Limb Pain

wasting borrowed time
finite this paradigm
we build on fallen empires
let feed the psychic vampires
drunk on me, drink me down to the last
I fill you up, I hit you fast
I am mercury in your veins
I am phantom limb pains
I eat you alive from within
I divide and multiply again
I know what you are, you are what you eat
so you might as well admit defeat
I am mercury in your veins
I am phantom limb pains
I fill you up, I hit you fast
drunk on me, drink me down to the last.

Sting of a Stitch

shut me down
with the flick of a switch
turn you off
with the sting of a stitch
lasting sensation of the prick
don't worry, you'll just feel a little sick
open your mouth and close your eyes
I'm going to feed you a bunch of lies
beat me off
of this pedestal
we're de-evolving primordial
in pools of mans melting will
eat me up please take your fill
break me in
I am new car smell
try me on
and love me well
flash by me
in the blink of an eye
memory fading as moments fly
crash into me
this is the last collision
splash of reality
in this split decision
open your mouth and close your eyes
I'm going to feed you a bunch of lies
customize me
you cut and paste
rearrange me and erase

Scar Itch

transparent your reason
I see you as a back bleeding knife wound
even after the wound heals
you are my scar itch
I do not forget so easily
so do not expect me to hold your hand
when it is still covered in my blood

Snake Skin

slash ribbons through snake skin
you slithering reptilian
I want to wear you now
like you wore me...wore me out
or feed on you for sustenance
but instead you bite through my shoes
and I sit sucking the venom out of my toe
so I shall cut off your head with a sharp stone
so that you cannot bite me again

I am the Sand

I am sand
seeking to escape
through the cracks
of a broken time glass
I escape crumbling through the lines
longing to return home
back to seashores
soaking in golden sunlight

The Raging Bear

what is this trivial mass
where the ambiguous hedges meet
looking into your eyes of glass
your heart so indiscreet
the never ending night
turned into never ending day
the prize on which i have set my sights
turned into the price which i must pay
sweetly sleeping in my thoughts
the hibernating bear
in a wilted field of forget-me-not's
and the smell of smoke in the air
to wake him with fury is my goal
as I poke him with a stick
so that I may ask him to devour me whole
in an attempt to make him sick
for these forces with which i pretend to reckon
will certainly prove me a fool
the warm scent of springtime will beckon
and awaken the raging bear in full

Seagull Sonnets

Am I stronger than this current
which took me like a child out to sea
please tell me where the warm sand went
and how it got out from underneath me
drifting on my back like an otter
looking indirectly into the sun
burn into my eyes this vision of water
this copasetic union is mutual and fun
I am one with this body of salty abandon
and seagull sonnets are on the tip of my tongue
and although this adventure is entirely random
this oceananic opus will be sung
with all that I am I will emote
and cry with passion out all the words
to the beat of my heart as I float
as I sing to the earth with the wind and the birds.

Paper Weight

I am a paper
you are weight
without you
I'd fly away
and with you
I am crumpled
crushed under
and faded with age

Spit On My Flowers

When I failed you
I was micro me
small bits chewed up
and spit out into birds mouth
when I failed you
I was prostrated
and still I lay here
licking dirt from your shoes
When I failed you
I was infection
drained out
the sores never quite healed
When you failed me
I was expendable
and your reason conquered over
my freshly dug grave
and spit on my flowers

Because You Fly Away

I let you go
because you fly away
and I cannot hold
onto this balloon for long
it rises with the moon
and threatens to take me with it
into the looming unfavorable skies
my clipped wings flutter
and try to remember the wind
I let you go
because you fly away

Caged Canary

Sometimes I feel like a caged canary
watching you through my wooden cell
realizing I am secondary
because I know you all too well
You'd much prefer my silent partner
who sleeps purring at your feet
I watch you pet her long sleek fur
as I chirp forgotten in defeat
my song is lost inside your ear
replaced by sweet enticing mew
her soft touch and presence is always near
as I sing a bitter song to you
all my feathers fade in color
I cling to my perch with all my might
you take comfort in your other
and I sing songs into the night

This Cry

This cry
began with one
single tear
streaming down
into my drink
I with convulsing despair
shuddered helpless to the floor
in awe of each growing wave
of mindbending agony
unable to believe
in any moment
outside of this one
gripping towels on the wall
as I fall in a heap
begging the gods
to stop my heart
from feeling
questioning everything
that I ever believed
questioning everything
that I ever believed
this cry
began with one
single tear
which I have brushed away
for far too long
always taunting me
with its salty self
and this burning lump
of repressed emotion
which rests like candy
in my throat.

Kill the Mood

Your rancid self
oozes emotion
and as a plague
which spreads like fire
from one to the other
one hundredth monkey theory
Your despicable ways
dis compassionate eyes
glare enraged
like a caged bull
snorting angry
and waiting
your hateful self
will not rest
until you have spread
your corrupt seed
across every knoll and hillside
like pesticide
you kill the mood

Old Well

pump away at me
and you will find
that I am tapped out
like an old well
which has gone unused
for some time.

Door to Door Salesman

Get Out
you were not invited
I only have enough room
for me in here
the door to my heart
is boarded shut
and your only option
is to kick me in
Get out
this is private property
and you are just
a door to door
salesman.

This Cat

this cat sees
an open window
and jumps quickly
to the ledge
looking down
just a few stories to fall
freedom is waiting
She only need give up
one of her lives
to start her life anew
this cat sees
an open window
but crawls instead
back to a warm
comfortable
familiar spot
next to his feet.

Bile in my Throat

white noise
fills my throat
leaking out
like stomach bile
i want to purge myself of you
you linger as a bad taste
in my mouth
and i cannot wash you out

By What Design

by what design
did my fate come?
such questions
fall carelessly
from my lips
and still I sit
and still I sit
waiting for the tide
to wash over my feet
knowing full well
that my mind
designed my fate
with focused intention
did I gave birth
to this silent moment,
this silver moon,
this warm friendly breeze
and sea foam covered feet

Shadow of Dream

in shadow of dream
comes my indiscretion
you'd think by now
that I'd learn my lesson
but again with the tide
there's no where I can hide
come wind blow me away forever
ill live inside the arms of your embrace
chasing the leaves
over the oceans and seas
never knowing the stop, of stop and go
and watching all the world in its natural flow
in shadow of dream
comes forgotten obscure obsession
you'd think by now
that I'd learned my lesson
but again with a quake
I feel myself shake
come world we are tumbling down together
ill be reborn in the aftermath of this end
growing as a seed
peeking out a green leaf
never knowing the the meaning of the word no
now a part of the world in all its natural flow
in a shadow of dream
comes the sweetest of reminders
you'd think by now
that I would have learned my lesson
but the rain drowns me out
as I scream and I shout
come rain and cry me out a river
my dreams have been buried in this space
and all I have is this song
so someone please sing along
I've never known the comfort of going slow
let me be a part of the world in all its natural flow

As Long

as long as you are happy
because i will never be
as long as you are able
to live your life as free
as long as you are smiling
because my smile is a lie
as long as you are laughing...
...because you know, all I want to do is cry.

The Truth

the truth is like
loud music playing at 4 in the morning
when you have to be up at 5
it echoes booming like a loud persistent bass beat
leaving your head pounding... you can't think straight
the truth is like a hangover
it wakes you in the morning with waves of sick
sick all over yourself, you never make it to the toilet
it rages, rolling with every turn of your head
it takes over logic, and leaves you fetal position in the shower
the truth is like a zombie apocalypse
because deep down inside you know
that you will never survive it
it devours with insatiable hunger
the meek and weary
The truth is a cockroach
that lives on forever

Want to Believe You

I never knew such loneliness until I met you
and even if I go I wont forget you
behind this smile I want to cry
and I can't even look you in the eye
I want to believe you...but you lie.


I never lost myself until I found you
the world stops making sense when I'm around you
and all the while, I want to die
I find myself just asking why
I want to believe you when you lie.

Love Curdled

My heart has turned.....
Like sour milk
love curdled, and its too late
Ive gone terribly bad
my heart has turned
like sour milk.

What's on the Inside

weak minded
parasite
cannot see his own blood covered hand
as he feeds off of others
in vulturesque form
he is the puppet
searching for a master
who hangs him self on his own puppet strings
he finds dark holes to hide in
and creeps in his worm like way
I so want to step on him with my boot
to see whats on the inside.

I Don't Take Kindly

i am receding
into my psyche
deeper down
than you can probe
i am missing
i am not present
you wave your hands
and i stare back blindly
i am bleeding
but you cant see me
im lost and found
as a center fold
i am missing
i am not present
i understand
but i dont take kindly

Drowning

I have given into the torrential flow
and water seeps into my nose
i choke and sputter in the current
lost inside this foamy requium
which roars and bursts, inside my ears.

Compost

we are breaking down
like cells after death
like all living matter
we decompose
we are compost

Nothing

Nothing here, nothing there,
nothing fucking anywhere!
Nothing even inside me,
except for you occasionally.
Hallow space, empty void...
don't you see I am destroyed?
Vast and meaningless-why do I care?
Nothing always everywhere
even inside there's nothing at all
echo in silence as I take the fall.
Nothing to feel, inside of me,
except for you occasionally.

Plausible Deniability

A wish is hiding inside of me
so deep...residing
inside of me...
That sleeps, and shudders,
inside of me...
That slips and wanders,
inside of me...
Like secret fingers, that feel to see,
A flesh-bound wonder
the mirror me
and eyes that search
inside to see
such an improbability
and yet with such plausible deniability...
the wish residing inside of me...
so deep, is sliding inside of me...
that sleeps and wanders,
inside of me...
like secret fingers, that feel to see...
Some nameless thought
the mirror me,
and plausible deniability.

White Noise

Buzzing in my head
like a million angry bees
this chaos unbridled
lost in translation
turns to milky white noise
shhhhhhhhhhh
render me pointless
speech muffled in babble
pick me like a flower
and toss me to the floor

Deep Secret

Pierce me through
hold me, break me in,
let your arms be my fortress
fill me up with you
fill me, feel me too
pierce me through
show me your deep secret
hold me, break me in
make me forget my own skin
fly with me outside of men
and back again
I'll show you the deepest part of me
fill me up with you
pierce me through
let me feel the pulse of you
hold me, break me in
make me forget my own skin
fly with me outside of men
and back again

Lump of Clay

Let it all fall away
trembling in your arms I say
"Do not let me be this way"
"Do not let me be this way"
cannot comprehend today
stuck and sitting here I stay
there is no sunlight, NO not a ray...
and I scream "FUCK I'm just a lump of clay!"

Payroll Prostitute

Payroll Prostitute
wears heeled shoes
loves only walls
loves only machine
loves only paper
loves only money
cares not for men
but LOVES "the man"
Payroll Prostitute
she doesn't give it up for cheap
she and all the others are asleep
loving only productivity
sales
numbers
materials
and when they are overcome with a sense of hollowness
they scream "FILL THIS"
and then Payroll Prostitute comes in
and says "It is not a sin to be so hardened,
when it is your fellow man you condemn!"
She wears a suit
wears a tie
wears a smile
cares not for men
but LOVES "the man"
She'll never give it up for cheap
she an all the others are asleep.

You my Sunlight

water my soul with your presence, render me useless with your touch, I hear you calling, but im rooted as a tree....my wistful branches reach for you twisting and searching for your light, all my soul stretches towards you, but remains locally fastened to this earthly prerequisite. You my sunlight warm my heart and so I will close my eyes and smile and look upon you.

You, with your rays of light, you blind me, but I love this ocular assault. You with your rays of life, you remind me of what it means to be alive. I burn for you to burn me. I burn up for you. I am charred with wanting, left smoldering and smoking.

I wish to burn down...burn me down. I will still reach for your light through the smoke and ash with whatever is left of my rooted self, and with every new green leaf sprouting from my relinquished trunk will I remember the way you warmed me to the core, and caressed my soul with your knowing golden arms. You my sunlight warm my heart and so I will close my eyes and smile and look upon you.

Stalemate Lover

letting go of the thread
tapestry comes unraveled
running slow through my head
all the roads I have traveled
knowing that I am unusual
breeds a loneliness abounding
perhaps I am delusional
for my problems are compounding
No hands to trust, my hands are slipping
my back is bare, no wings for clipping
i tread lightly on this eggshell path
and creep nightly to escape the wrath
I dream big, but live small
I trip often, but dont fall
live on the edge and drop all my pretense
fuck it all, none of it makes sense
close my heart like a book
i was a fool to let you take a look
you read the preface,
glanced at the cover
couldn't care much less
I'm a stalemate lover

Pawn of Men

So low all the resources of my soul
and I run on all but empty as I go
dreams remind me of what it's like to feel
head be quiet...oh heart be still
sleep evades me as I toss and turn
thoughts race, and undulated desires burn
all my resolve washed away like sand
my body once a temple, now a shipwreck, unmanned
Sleep sweet sleep escape tomorrow
drown in tears for all my sorrow
gag me with a stick
play the worlds smallest violin
swimming in the sick
the game, the player, the pawn of men.

Omni-Void

I am now the omni void
how long have I been destroyed
sip and swallow, drink me dry
ever hollow lonely I
Just a rag to clean the mess
just a stain upon my dress
just a lie to ease the mind
just a cut to the ties which bind
rub salt into deep wound bleeding
falter and fall with faith receding
oh how badly I am needing
needing even as I am feeding
feeding though I'm never full
full of reason as a rule,
reason? fuck it! void and null
riptide of rage I feel your pull
I am now the omni void
how long have I been destroyed
sip and swallow, drink me dry
ever hollow lonely I

Cross the Line

In truth when all the buzzing stops
this swirl of thought that kills the mind
There is a moment when the bubble pops
it is as if the planets were all aligned
a small exclusion from consideration
is fed by the hand of circumstance
and grows into a new temptation
which continues into a blind romance
buzzing loud I'm switching gears
let's drown out all the noise
"la la la!" I plug my ears
until confusion breaks my poise
Please forgive me for my trespass
I should have seen the sign
and stayed on my side of the grass
but I always cross the line.

Dog Toy

You make me feel alive
acutely aware of my condition
this blade in my heart becomes real
with every word unspoken
you make me feel the twist
in my back of the spears head
you make me know me..internal nemesis
you make me bleed you out
wires around the neck tighten
you squeeze me to a squeeks point
like a dog toy chewed to bits

Stockholm Syndrome

You! You hold my brain hostage
and I have Stockholm syndrome
So I submit to this confusion
pure waves of emotion
you hold me up at gunpoint
your gun points right at my face
and I love it

Paper Warrior

I fight inside myself
but I am a paper warrior
rock and scissors had their way with me
cut up to shreds and pulverized to bits
I fight inside myself
but always hold the white flag
crying as rockets fly around me in the night
helpless and under-skilled
I run serpentine and aimless
bullets in crossfire
I fall into a hole
mud sucks at my shoeless feet
I scratch as I am climbing
the enemy surrounds me
laughing at my plight
I fight inside myself
and always lose the battle
defeating both sides
in simultaneous seppuku
laying on the ground
swords of truth buried inside
disemboweled with head hung in shame
I lost at my own game
I fight inside myself
but I am a paper warrior
rock and scissors had their way with me
cut up to shreds and pulverized to bits